Shortest

We had quite a storm in our rural area of North Yorkshire, with several brief power cuts and lashings of heavy rain; fortunately, the electricity supply has been made much more robust in the last few years, which means the lights soon flicker back into life. We are still waiting for the white stuff that is blowing ever nearer, and huddling by the occasional fire of logs and coal.

It's not long to the big day, which for me is not the charlatan of Christmas, but the winter solstice very late on the 21st December - 11.39pm in the UK, with sunrise the next morning at 8.04. We can then look forward with hope from this darkest time of the year, through the painfully slow lengthening days, and onwards to the joyous bloom of spring and summer.

The tradition of Christianity, which appears to be little more than an absurd fairy tale, and the more recent descent into obscene materialism, has supplanted the true rhythms of Nature, and the more ancient traditions of 'advanced' nations like our beloved United Kingdom. I will do my best to observe what is happening in the natural world of this remote countryside location, rather than obsessing about one day of turkey and tinsel accompanied by a fairly meaningless speech from a polite old dear - Queen Elizabeth - not the more interesting first one.

I would be a fool to refuse the abundant offerings of food and alcohol; and my simple needs will be fulfilled by obtaining a cheap bottle of Kentucky bourbon from somewhere like Aldi. We are not visiting Lidl at the moment - our nearest shop, six miles away - because of an unfortunate recent incident regarding my partner and ten year-old son. The checkout chap refused to sell her a bottle of alcopop as he wrongly suspected it was a treat for our young lad. This is a nonsensical position for supermarkets to take, as families often shop together, preventing many inevitable child abductions that would occur if kids were left alone in the car park !

So, merry Christmas to Lidl, and all other organisations that would enforce rules contrary to common sense - may you forever be trapped in a snowstorm of your own misery. We'll go to Asda instead, which at least started out as a Yorkshire company.